Hey how are you? 04 Oct 2016

Like most conversations do it starts with a “Hey, how are you?”. What people don’t know is the mental twists that my brain goes through in the split second it takes me to answer. Do I tell them: my heart is jumping out of my chest? my brain is wound up tight? I’d rather be somewhere else where I felt safe? I’m struggling with anxiety? I spend most of my day close to tears? I’m a fraud? I have no idea what I’m doing? All these things I have to deal with on a daily basis. My anxiety scares me...

Hello my old friend 12 Sep 2016

I’ve not missed you not at all. I wish you weren’t back but here we are my dear friend/enemy Propranolol. The past few weeks have been really tough, break downs, anxiety attacks all fun stuff. So there it is the beta blockers are back so I can retain some form of functionality I don’t want this but it’ll get me through the next few weeks when I can focus on rebuilding my mental health defenses.

NWDUG User group and Slack 21 Jun 2016

Around the 9th of September 2015 we set up Slack for NWDUG. Before the slack channel communication wasn’t brilliant, it felt to me like our community was just centred around one day a month event. We toyed with the idea of an IRC channel for a bit but the user on-boarding was too much and the lack of moderation tools and integrations was a real deal breaker for me. So we settled on Slack and then ran with it. I think it’s safe to say that it’s been a huge success! We’re active every week day with a total of...

Split panes in PHPStorm reliably 12 Apr 2016

Here’s an easy way to get split panes in PHPStorm without tearing your hair out! If you want Project and Structure then: Make sure Project has docked and pinned mode ticked (using the cog). Make sure Structure has docked, pinned and split mode ticked. You then need to toggle them both a few times for it to work cmd+1 and cmd+7 should work.

Triggers and Self Harm 30 Mar 2016

Recently my anxiety is triggering more and more frequently. Last night two men were arguing outside Sainsburys at Oxford Road, it triggered my anxiety, my heart began racing, eyes twitching and I became the monster I hate. Generally I tend to cope well with anxiety but when I get triggered I find it very difficult to function. I know the reasons for this, I know that it’s my situation and stress that makes things worse. I’m trying to cope with anxiety attacks but it’s difficult. My brain just regresses into being an soup of anger and sadness that spirals out...

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