I finally have some closure on the PE that turned my life upside down at the end of October last year.
I have it written on a piece of NHS branded paper. It’s innocuously included in a list of other ailments from a consultant only vaguely related the rest of the bullshit I’m having to deal with (health wise not NHS they’ve been ok/great).
I feel like there should be some lead up, some drum roll, a line of people all cheering me on as I pass a fake finishing line. But there’s not, in fact it’s not even a surprise, it’s an anti climax of oh shit yeah that makes sense.
What it is is Protein C deficiency, why am I familiar with it? It’s a rare genetic disease that my dad has. He’s graciously passed it on to me (and potentially my brother). It all makes perfect sense now I was unlucky on two fronts, firstly the genetic lottery as if inheriting my dads mannerisms wasn’t bad enough, secondly a host of planets all lining up to fuck me over.
So now I know it’s nice to know that the preventative medication I was put on (Apixaban) is exactly what I need to protect me in the future. I’ll be on it for life which isn’t ideal but I’ll get used to it.
The hardest part of this is the mental side of it, I’m struggling with it all, I don’t deal with trauma well and it’s eating me up inside. I’m working on it but some days it’s too much. I hope it’ll get better with time.