Posts

When I look at my arm I hate it, it doesn’t feel a part of my body, the scars are a constant reminder that I went through a dark time and it’s something that makes me feel angry and ashamed.

One of the things I’ve found quite hard to accept is how awesome my support network has been over the past few months. Hannah - She’s taken days of work to sit with me and keep me company when times were the darkest, she’s looked after me in so many different and amazing ways.

After this post I figured I should write more since I’ve always found it cathartic. The support I’ve had since I published it has been amazing, thanks to everyone who got in touch on twitter and other means, I’m sorry I’ve not replied yet but it’s a bit overwhelming and I’m honestly not sure what I can say.

I’ve always tried to be open and public about my dealings with mental health which is why this post is probably the hardest I’ve ever written. It started a few months ago when I noticed that stress from work was building up to a point where I couldn’t handle it anymore, depression and anxiety hit hard and I lost control again.

After a recent trip to St Ives and the wonderful Mount Zion coffee I’ve decided to step up my game and buy some new toys for the kitchen. First up is a timer - One of the things I learnt while in St Ives was the importance of draw down time.

I’ve got quite an expensive hobby at the moment - keyboards. Custom keyboards. At the moment I have 4 keyboards in my office: Poker 2 ISO Ducky Shine 3 TKL ISO NERD 60 Winkeyless B.

I’ve known about TMUX for a few years now but never got around to checking it out. It’s not until the past few weeks where I’ve spent most of my time in the terminal for various projects that I’ve really felt the need to dig in and learn the basics.

I have this memory of when I was young, we used to go camping in something called a Dandy, one day I remember my dad making sketches on a scrap bit of paper, I was young I didn’t really understand what they were but he seemed quite excited at it.

This post is a follow up on: Why is admitting I can’t do something the hardest part of my job? Stupid stupid hangup. — Mike Bell (@mikebell_) December 20, 2016 There became a point over the past two years where it dawned on me that I was a good coder.

Like most conversations do it starts with a “Hey, how are you?”. What people don’t know is the mental twists that my brain goes through in the split second it takes me to answer.